Losing my grip

I donno what to say :(
I never wanted to crap all this things here. But I am helpless. Because what is bothering me is me myself. Its me versus me.
I never wanted to do the things I am doing, And not doing the things which I always wanted to. I am so confused.

I just wanna do one damn thing. Learn from my own mistakes. And for the heavens sake not to repeat them again and again.

I am not gonna give a shit to anything. I don't wanna lose my grip :(

I am in middle of my compres and my mind is in deep shit. I am hardly studying. I have no idea what is gonna happen. May be, it had become my habit now. I donno what to do. But I badly want to get the hell out of it. I never thought something will piss me off to that extend I will start hating myself.

How can I be that sick. How can I fall for all pity things. This is the reason why I ruined my high school. This is the reason why I did not get into my dream college. And this is the reason why I have screwed my acads.

But how can do this to my CDCs. Kaps, enough .. Forget it. Everything has its own time. And this is not right time to do all these things. And It's not too late. Give up before it blow off your mind.

You can do this. Only thing you have to do is just forget whatever happened. And don't worry. Keep the faith... It's matter of time. We will do it. We will make it happen.

Follow the first principle .

Don't let anything affect your inner poise, no matter what happens. Don't let anything make you feel miserable. Remember no matter what happens, you should not suffer.